Welcome to the Invelos forums. Please read the forum rules before posting.

Read access to our public forums is open to everyone. To post messages, a free registration is required.

If you have an Invelos account, sign in to post.

    Invelos Forums->General: General Discussion Page: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7  Previous   Next
Bullying
Author Message
DVD Profiler Unlimited RegistrantStar ContributorWinston Smith
Don't be discommodious
Registered: March 13, 2007
United States Posts: 21,610
Posted:
PM this userEmail this userView this user's DVD collectionDirect link to this postReply with quote
Quoting pdf256:
Quote:
Quoting pdf256:
Quote:
Quoting johnd:
Quote:
Quoting northbloke:
Quote:
You're right, this isn't bullying. I think in my time on here I've only seen one situation that maybe bordered on that description. So maybe bullying was a bad choice of word.


Perhaps, but I think it fairly accurately describes the feelings of the people so effected.

Quote:
I'm still hoping that the situation can be defused before it gets to the stage of people being banned or the installing of moderators.


So am I. The first sounds to much like the stifiling of opposing views, while the second creates a management structure that does not necessarily work.

I still think that certain people need to be taken aside by those they seem to respect and be given a little talking to about acceptable behaviour. Since they do not respect the members of this forum (old and new), then it needs to be done by someone else....

The only people that could do that are Ken and Gerri, but for some reason they won't do it. If fact one user when I asked him to tone it down in a PM told me that because Ken has not asked him to be more polite, he has no need to.

I have wondered more than once if Ken likes the fighting on the forums.  

pdf


So when I see others quote themselves when they were trying to use edit to fix an error in a post I always think what a maroon.

pdf


When I see someone who lacks the ability to present a logical and cogent argument I think....


Skip
ASSUME NOTHING!!!!!!
CBE, MBE, MoA and proud of it.
Outta here

Billy Video
 Last edited: by Winston Smith
DVD Profiler Desktop and Mobile RegistrantStar ContributorFunkyLA
Will you remove your hat?
Registered: March 13, 2007
United Kingdom Posts: 1,136
Posted:
PM this userVisit this user's homepageView this user's DVD collectionDirect link to this postReply with quote
Quoting pdf256:
Quote:
Quoting FunkyLA:
Quote:
How dare you suggest such a thing

Because as studies have shown; People on the net with say and do things that they would never do in "real-life".

Now stop posting, don't you have a train to drive.

But... but.... but... its my weekend off
Signature? We don't need no stinking... hang on, this has been done... blast [oooh now in Widescreen]
Ah... well you see.... I thought I'd say something more interesting... but cannot think of anything..... oh well
And to those of you who have disabled viewing of these signature files "hello" (or not) Registered: July 27, 2004
DVD Profiler Unlimited RegistrantStar ContributorWinston Smith
Don't be discommodious
Registered: March 13, 2007
United States Posts: 21,610
Posted:
PM this userEmail this userView this user's DVD collectionDirect link to this postReply with quote
Then enjoy it, Funky.

Skip
ASSUME NOTHING!!!!!!
CBE, MBE, MoA and proud of it.
Outta here

Billy Video
DVD Profiler Desktop and Mobile RegistrantStar ContributorFunkyLA
Will you remove your hat?
Registered: March 13, 2007
United Kingdom Posts: 1,136
Posted:
PM this userVisit this user's homepageView this user's DVD collectionDirect link to this postReply with quote
Quoting skipnet50:
Quote:
Then enjoy it, Funky.

Skip

Oh I am, I even got to swear earlier - now I am truly a MAN  (Ok, I know, swearing is not big, nor clever, but heh!)
Signature? We don't need no stinking... hang on, this has been done... blast [oooh now in Widescreen]
Ah... well you see.... I thought I'd say something more interesting... but cannot think of anything..... oh well
And to those of you who have disabled viewing of these signature files "hello" (or not) Registered: July 27, 2004
DVD Profiler Unlimited RegistrantZoeper
Registered: 10/03/2003
Registered: March 13, 2007
Austria Posts: 460
Posted:
PM this userEmail this userView this user's DVD collectionDirect link to this postReply with quote
Quoting Rifter:
Quote:
Quoting AiAustria:
Quote:
But: I think if John Doe is blocked by - lets say 20 - of the regularly participating users, this tells me, that he is not accepted by the community. And thougt further: not accepted -> not valued -> not part of the communty -> no right to publish...

I could imagine to calculate an acceptance factor like summing up the "number of posts" of all users who blocked a person - the higher this factor the less the acceptance of the person in the community...

...
All this blocking and wishes for other means of policing things smacks of political correctness, and nothing good comes from going down that path.  In fact, if you go far enough down that road you end up with police states and dictators.  I rather somebody had the testicular fortitude to call a bastard to my face than hide behind some PC block.  That's the coward's way of dealing with things.


Getting a bit back on topic, I really have to agree with Rifter, and that is rare. But indeed as soon as we have to start watching out for the things we write it is over. If you don't like something said, say it to that person. Maybe he/she should be more tolerable and say sorry, but just blatantly 'globally' blocking a user is sooo dead wrong!

We are all adults, in one way or another
Jean-Paul
DVD Profiler Desktop and Mobile Registrantjohnd
Evening, poetry lovers.
Registered: March 13, 2007
Australia Posts: 298
Posted:
PM this userView this user's DVD collectionDirect link to this postReply with quote
Quoting JP_S:
Quote:
If you don't like something said, say it to that person. Maybe he/she should be more tolerable and say sorry,


This assumes a level of maturity that is not demonstrated by a number of outspoken posters to these forums. It has been demonstrated time and again that, when called to task about their unacceptable behaviour by other forum members, they refuse to acknowledge it and, in Skip's case, has actually been proud of this behaviour.

Again, this issue isn't about the subject being debated, which is generally minor, but how the debate is conducted.
 Last edited: by johnd
DVD Profiler Unlimited RegistrantZoeper
Registered: 10/03/2003
Registered: March 13, 2007
Austria Posts: 460
Posted:
PM this userEmail this userView this user's DVD collectionDirect link to this postReply with quote
I, when I think back at it, might have said things about a country that might have not been in place. Sorry for that and didn't mean no harm, just a little teasing.

But johnd when you post that Skip is driving possible customers away that is right up that alley, if you don't mind me saying so
Jean-Paul
DVD Profiler Desktop and Mobile Registrantjohnd
Evening, poetry lovers.
Registered: March 13, 2007
Australia Posts: 298
Posted:
PM this userView this user's DVD collectionDirect link to this postReply with quote
Quoting JP_S:
Quote:

But johnd when you post that Skip is driving possible customers away that is right up that alley, if you don't mind me saying so


Sorry, I may be misunderstanding you, but I am only paraphrasing posts from other users in other threads, as well as some members of a large group of people who do not post here anymore.

The sad thing is that usually (not always) Skip presents a valid point of view. However, he presents it so badly, and with such a lack of social ability, that some people will take up the contrary viewpoint as a reaction to that. He then compounds the problem by actually being proud of his lack of social skills (though he may not recognise them as such). Because of this he becomes the "poster child" for all the bad interactions in these forums.
 Last edited: by johnd
DVD Profiler Unlimited RegistrantZoeper
Registered: 10/03/2003
Registered: March 13, 2007
Austria Posts: 460
Posted:
PM this userEmail this userView this user's DVD collectionDirect link to this postReply with quote
What I meant was that your post, in either this, or another topic, where you claim that Ken/Gerri should, lets say, ban Skip because he is chasing people/customers away.

By blocking users, or just by banning them, we are not really on a free forum anymore, and we have to watch out for what we say. What is next, who is going to decide what I can or cannot post?

We all make stupid posts in which we write things we might think off, later on, maybe I should not have written that.

And these last topics 'Bullying' and `Does DVDP bullying keep you away?` are just examples of putting more oil on the fire (If that is indeed a saying).

The forum will be more spilt up by these types of topics than actually coming to an agreement. Yes we are indeed talking about it, but then again, are we getting anywhere? I think not.
Jean-Paul
DVD Profiler Desktop and Mobile Registrantjohnd
Evening, poetry lovers.
Registered: March 13, 2007
Australia Posts: 298
Posted:
PM this userView this user's DVD collectionDirect link to this postReply with quote
Quoting JP_S:
Quote:
What I meant was that your post, in either this, or another topic, where you claim that Ken/Gerri should, lets say, ban Skip because he is chasing people/customers away.


As I stated before, I do not think banning is an appropriate or correct response. However, I am sure that a quiet word from Ken or Gerri (the only people Skip seems to respect here) will help set things straight.

Quote:
By blocking users, or just by banning them, we are not really on a free forum anymore, and we have to watch out for what we say. What is next, who is going to decide what I can or cannot post?


This isn't a free forum, and never has been. I can't say anything I like. Nobody can. There is, however, great liberty, controlled primarily by social norms as dictated by the community. Some, however, continually demonstrate that they either ignore or do not understand those social norms, or consider them not to apply in these types of forums.

Quote:
We all make stupid posts in which we write things we might think off, later on, maybe I should not have written that.


Absolutely. And most demonstrate that they learn from this. Others show that they do not, and do not even realise they have done anything wrong.
DVD Profiler Desktop and Mobile RegistrantDr. Killpatient
Here's my card
Registered: May 19, 2007
Reputation: Highest Rating
United States Posts: 5,917
Posted:
PM this userView this user's DVD collectionDirect link to this postReply with quote
*sigh*

30+ new posts and not one cat macro.

DVD Profiler Unlimited RegistrantZoeper
Registered: 10/03/2003
Registered: March 13, 2007
Austria Posts: 460
Posted:
PM this userEmail this userView this user's DVD collectionDirect link to this postReply with quote
@johnd

See we completely understand one another, just takes me more words, but that has probably something to do with not being native English speaker

@Killpatient
I like those cat photos
Jean-Paul
DVD Profiler Desktop and Mobile RegistrantStar ContributorAiAustria
Profiling since 2004
Registered: May 19, 2007
Reputation: Highest Rating
Austria Posts: 5,715
Posted:
PM this userDirect link to this postReply with quote
Quoting johnd:
Quote:
Someone who submits very good profiles, but is unable to interact on the forums in an acceptable manner?

From my point of view forums shouldn't be mixed up with contribution and private messaging. - They are completely different forms of communication.

Regards, AA
Complete list of Common Names  •  A good point for starting with Headshots (and v11.1)
DVD Profiler Unlimited RegistrantStar ContributorDariusKyrak
Fishcakes.. and why not?
Registered: March 23, 2007
United Kingdom Posts: 317
Posted:
PM this userVisit this user's homepageView this user's DVD collectionDirect link to this postReply with quote
Catching up after a nights sleep, the first thing I'd like to say is that I think bullying is a fair word to use. I was bullied at school (although I wasn't the class target - he was in line for daily beatings), and although this is no comparison to many of the things that went on then, I think bullying is correct. In just the last few days, I've seen people called idiots and yahoos (the latter having very strong derogatory connotations similar to being called a Neanderthal for those who don't recognise the reference from 'Guliver's Travels') - surely no-one would claim that these are friendly banter or that stopping this sort of comment is somehow an attempt at being PC?

BTW Try doing a forum search on some common derogatory terms - you get some reasonable uses of the words (i.e. clearly a bit of fun), but you also get some interesting results.

I don't think we need to try and chase the political correctness route. I laugh at jokes about foreigners and can laugh at jokes about the English because of the nature in which they're told. A friendly jibe is friendly (so long a it is portrayed that way). I don't laugh at personal comparisons with sadistic killers. I've got nothing against strong opinions - I've stuck to my guns in many a situation and fought for what I though was right, but I don't resort to calling people names or intimating that they're too dim to understand.

Quote:
Quote:
And these last topics 'Bullying' and `Does DVDP bullying keep you away?` are just examples of putting more oil on the fire (If that is indeed a saying).

I recognised this before I posted, which is why I added the last option in the latter poll. The challenge is that you can't deal with a problem unless you address it, and that's often traumatic. I figured that it was worth exploring the issue a little more, but gave the cop-out in the poll.

So far, the poll shows that significant people think that there's a problem and more than three-quarters of those attribute it to a small number of people. To me, that suggests that, firstly there is a problem, and secondly that a small effort may have significant benefit. By that, I mean that changing the attitudes of three or four people is much more achievable than if the problem was perceived to be more universal.

Also, can we stop making references to individuals here? I've seen Skip mentioned a few more times than I'm comfortable with and I don't think that it's right to single him out - although I do think he needs to follow his own advice a little more, he is NOT the source of all evil!

Stuart
This is a sig... ... ... yay...

Don't understand? Maybe DVDProfilerWiki.org does!
DVD Profiler Unlimited RegistrantStar ContributorDariusKyrak
Fishcakes.. and why not?
Registered: March 23, 2007
United Kingdom Posts: 317
Posted:
PM this userVisit this user's homepageView this user's DVD collectionDirect link to this postReply with quote
From what I've seen so far, I think that it's worth discussing options.

I agree that the forum block is a weak solution that ignores the problem rather than dealing with it. From the invelos side, I think that the 'report bad post' idea is probably the most useful, and I don't think that it will stifle VALID free speech (I don't consider put downs because of someones occupation to be reasonable and I think removing them will have nothing but a positive effect on health discussion).

I don't think that any automated system will work at all.

I constantly change my mind about moderators. Sometimes I think they're good because they have authority, but sometimes I think this makes people rely on them rather than facing the problem themselves. For example, for dropping litter in a busy street, ten people turning round and telling them off will have much more of an effect than hoping a policeman will spot it and issue a fine.

I think that I'm of the opinion that if several people (note the 'several') call someone out on an unreasonable comment (without engaging in a discussion about it), that will have the most impact. Especially if there is an expectation of an apology if several people call it out.

Using the Topic Post Count Per User post as an example (because it has several potential points of contention and I read it recently), I see the following as being worthy of being called out:

Page 1:
Skipnet50's first post (specifically the last three words - I don't have tat much of a problem with the rest).
Nadja's post

Page 2:
Skip - French comment
Nadja - called someone 'delusional'

Page 5:
Rifter - Yahoo comment
surfeur51 - intentionally inflammatory
Rifter - reference to users intelligence

This thread had quite a bit of heat in it, some childish comments, but I think those above overstepped the mark. You may be surprised by some of my choices here, but it's just the way I read them - specifically, how different in tone, (but not content) the thread would be if you mentally blocked out those comments. The fact that some may disagree with some of my assessments of acceptable is why I think a number of responses is of value.

Let's say we did start calling people out. What would you say?

- ^Ignore
- Don't feed the troll
I think that both of these are slightly inflammatory in themselves.

- sticks and stones...
Because this sounds like a parent to  a child, I've always thought it sounds somewhat superior, and in my experience often results in someone going looking for a stick or stone.

- [Quote] This comment is unnecessary, please apologise.
It's neutral, but... I don't know.

Any further thoughts?

Stuart
This is a sig... ... ... yay...

Don't understand? Maybe DVDProfilerWiki.org does!
DVD Profiler Unlimited RegistrantStar ContributorSrehtims
Registered: March 13, 2007
United States Posts: 1,796
Posted:
PM this userView this user's DVD collectionDirect link to this postReply with quote
Bullying, you can only be bullied if you allow it. If you think someone is bullying you point it out to them and if they continue, ignore them. After all you are not involved in a physical confrontation. Don’t fuel the fire. State your bit and if you see that string is going to hell, leave.

Most of these strings have all that needs to be said after two pages. Do to the global time differential, occasionally worthwhile comments are added later, but usually two pages do it. After that the only reason look farther is for cat pictures.

Problems that cause disagreements:

Participants, we are as varied as the United Nations, all nationalities, languages, vocations, financial levels, education levels. We have different reasons using a program like the DVD Profiler and for collecting DVDs.

Since I use the program to catalog my collection and nothing more, I was happy with the original program for my $25.00. To me the title, DVD Profiler says it all, if is not on or in the DVD and its packaging the hell with it. I do enjoy the added enhancements over the seven and half years I’ve used it. And some very clever people have added some useful add-ons. Hey, it is pretty. But, some people are just never satisfied.

DVD, itself, no other method available to the public for storing and reproducing audio and video has had so many format variations. And the DVD producers don’t always follow any set of rules. The content of the DVDs is forever expanding.

The program itself and its use, no matter how hard you try to cover all the possibilities something will come up that requires a change, physical or definitional, to cover it.

All the above make it very difficult to write a set of rules. The two things I did suggest in writing the rules are: use simple declarative sentences and a glossary of terms.

A little tolerance, please follow Sergeant Phil Esterhaus, Hillstreet Blues advice: "Hey, let's be careful out there."
We don't need stinkin' IMDB's errors, we make our own.
Ineptocracy, You got to love it.
"Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power." - Abraham Lincoln
    Invelos Forums->General: General Discussion Page: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7  Previous   Next